“I never in a million years thought I’d ever want a girlfriend who wanted s3x less,” he said while I kissed his neck. Clearly, I was not getting any this sunny Saturday morning.
S3x had been coming between us lately, and not in the way you’d expect. The s3x wasn’t bad, and I — the lady of the pair, the one society expects to be less s3xual — was not neglecting his desires.
In fact, I was constantly trying to have s3x. And therein lay the problem. It was me, not my boyfriend, who always wanted to get it on.
I was constantly throwing myself at him, and I was a bit sad that I felt the need to do this. At the same time, the s3x was so mind-blowing that I couldn’t resist.
It was the best s3x of my life. We had amazing s3xual chemistry. I couldn’t get enough of the smell of his skin.
When I held him, it was like I couldn’t get close enough; I couldn’t kiss him enough; I couldn’t touch him enough.
It was more than physical. It so surpassed the physical realm.
I was crazy in love with the guy. I’m a very s3xual person, but my overwhelming desire to have s3x with my boyfriend was more deep-rooted than the need for physical satisfaction. It was my way of showing him affection.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have s3x with me. He did. He just didn’t understand why I needed to have it incessantly. He’d say he wanted our relationship to be about more than just s3x.
He confused me when he said things like this. Why couldn’t s3x be enough? It was like he was lukewarm to my s3xual advances.
I couldn’t understand what was so wrong with equating s3x and intimacy. I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around the whole thing.
Isn’t it good to want to have s3x with your partner? Isn’t it right to find your partner so s3xy and desirable that you simply can’t keep your hands away?
I had lived life thinking that loving people meant constantly wanting them. I’d thought that S3X was the ultimate form of affection. It’s the most intimate thing two people can do, after all.
He couldn’t — and wouldn’t — keep up with me. It was me who was in the wrong for wanting it too much — not him. I couldn’t really win.
You can imagine the rejection I felt when I was told that what I was doing was off-putting. He called it “negotiating for s3x.”
I felt like I had to ask for it or risk not getting any at all. As if it were some kind of difficult, laborious task to sleep with me. That stung.
It seemed I could do no right. Men say women don’t want s3x enough. But once we do, we suddenly want it “too much.” WTF?! How can you win in a situation like that?
It isn’t dirty, and it isn’t wrong. You’re not objectifying your partner in order to s3xually gratify yourself. The two of you are in a meaningful, trusting relationship. S3x is a way to show your love.
S3x is a reminder of your love for each other, and doing it regularly or daily (or however often is comfortable for you) reminds the two of you of your emotional closeness.
S3x outside a relationship can have several meanings. It can be more about lust than love, for example. This makes sense, too — that s3x can be less about affection than it is about pure desire.
S3x is often seen as more animalistic and less loving than other behaviors. It’s important to understand that there is a difference between casual s3x and relationship s3x. There is intimacy involved when two people are in love.
In a relationship, s3x stops being about orgasms and starts to become about mutual satisfaction and deeper love.
There is no reason that any act of physical affection should be less important than another. It is different for every person and every couple.
He was right in that s3x didn’t have to be the ONLY way to show affection. I didn’t understand this point, as I was so used to s3x being the only way I expressed intimacy.
This belief was partly due to the fact that I had never really been in love before. Before my boyfriend, s3x was a way to satiate my partner’s need for connection and to quench my s3xual desires.
For me, it had always been about the physical pleasure. But it had been about emotional intimacy for my partners.
At the time, I saw this as a win-win situation. But once love entered the picture (on my end, at least), I learned there were other ways to show my feelings.
When I began craving s3x as a way to be emotionally close, my boyfriend pointed out that there were other ways of showing emotional love.
While his rejection of my advances had initially been insulting, I came to understand that he simply wanted and needed more than I could offer.
I had never been with a man who didn’t think s3x was enough. I had never had anyone want more. He wasn’t rejecting me because he didn’t want me; he was rejecting me because he wanted me to learn to express my feelings differently.
I’ve learned that there’s no right or wrong way to show intimacy. With more communication and understanding, maybe we can all try to find a little more balance.
S3x had been coming between us lately, and not in the way you’d expect. The s3x wasn’t bad, and I — the lady of the pair, the one society expects to be less s3xual — was not neglecting his desires.
In fact, I was constantly trying to have s3x. And therein lay the problem. It was me, not my boyfriend, who always wanted to get it on.
I was constantly throwing myself at him, and I was a bit sad that I felt the need to do this. At the same time, the s3x was so mind-blowing that I couldn’t resist.
It was the best s3x of my life. We had amazing s3xual chemistry. I couldn’t get enough of the smell of his skin.
When I held him, it was like I couldn’t get close enough; I couldn’t kiss him enough; I couldn’t touch him enough.
It was more than physical. It so surpassed the physical realm.
I was crazy in love with the guy. I’m a very s3xual person, but my overwhelming desire to have s3x with my boyfriend was more deep-rooted than the need for physical satisfaction. It was my way of showing him affection.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have s3x with me. He did. He just didn’t understand why I needed to have it incessantly. He’d say he wanted our relationship to be about more than just s3x.
He confused me when he said things like this. Why couldn’t s3x be enough? It was like he was lukewarm to my s3xual advances.
I couldn’t understand what was so wrong with equating s3x and intimacy. I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around the whole thing.
Isn’t it good to want to have s3x with your partner? Isn’t it right to find your partner so s3xy and desirable that you simply can’t keep your hands away?
I had lived life thinking that loving people meant constantly wanting them. I’d thought that S3X was the ultimate form of affection. It’s the most intimate thing two people can do, after all.
When did s3x become the wrong way to show affection?
Did I miss something? When did making love to someone stop meaning “I love you”?He couldn’t — and wouldn’t — keep up with me. It was me who was in the wrong for wanting it too much — not him. I couldn’t really win.
You can imagine the rejection I felt when I was told that what I was doing was off-putting. He called it “negotiating for s3x.”
I felt like I had to ask for it or risk not getting any at all. As if it were some kind of difficult, laborious task to sleep with me. That stung.
It seemed I could do no right. Men say women don’t want s3x enough. But once we do, we suddenly want it “too much.” WTF?! How can you win in a situation like that?
But s3x is not an objectifying way to show affection in a relationship.
I think s3x gets shoved under the umbrella of objectification, regardless of context. The thing is this: In a relationship, s3x is a perfectly valid form of expressing intimacy.It isn’t dirty, and it isn’t wrong. You’re not objectifying your partner in order to s3xually gratify yourself. The two of you are in a meaningful, trusting relationship. S3x is a way to show your love.
S3x is a reminder of your love for each other, and doing it regularly or daily (or however often is comfortable for you) reminds the two of you of your emotional closeness.
S3x outside a relationship can have several meanings. It can be more about lust than love, for example. This makes sense, too — that s3x can be less about affection than it is about pure desire.
S3x doesn’t need to be less intimate than holding hands.
You wouldn’t casually put your arm around a stranger, and you wouldn’t cuddle with someone you didn’t care about. But you might easily have casual s3x with someone.S3x is often seen as more animalistic and less loving than other behaviors. It’s important to understand that there is a difference between casual s3x and relationship s3x. There is intimacy involved when two people are in love.
In a relationship, s3x stops being about orgasms and starts to become about mutual satisfaction and deeper love.
There is no reason that any act of physical affection should be less important than another. It is different for every person and every couple.
S3x doesn’t need to be the ONLY way to show affection.
I think my boyfriend and I were both in the right — just in different ways. I was right in that s3x was a reasonable way to show how much I loved him.He was right in that s3x didn’t have to be the ONLY way to show affection. I didn’t understand this point, as I was so used to s3x being the only way I expressed intimacy.
This belief was partly due to the fact that I had never really been in love before. Before my boyfriend, s3x was a way to satiate my partner’s need for connection and to quench my s3xual desires.
For me, it had always been about the physical pleasure. But it had been about emotional intimacy for my partners.
At the time, I saw this as a win-win situation. But once love entered the picture (on my end, at least), I learned there were other ways to show my feelings.
When I began craving s3x as a way to be emotionally close, my boyfriend pointed out that there were other ways of showing emotional love.
While his rejection of my advances had initially been insulting, I came to understand that he simply wanted and needed more than I could offer.
I had never been with a man who didn’t think s3x was enough. I had never had anyone want more. He wasn’t rejecting me because he didn’t want me; he was rejecting me because he wanted me to learn to express my feelings differently.
I’ve learned that there’s no right or wrong way to show intimacy. With more communication and understanding, maybe we can all try to find a little more balance.
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